Today is the day, Caleb has found his sweet toes! He's been working hard to get ahold of them and he finally has! He scared himself when he finally did it but now he's even more interested in doing it again! Its pretty funny to watch him concentrating on them in the morning.
I feel like notifying the media! I'm glad that he thinks his toes are as great as we do:)
I'm sorry I've not posted more recently, we've had a very busy few weeks! There's so much to catch you up on! Where to start...?
When he's feeling well and has taken some amount of a nap, Caleb is about the happiest baby I've ever known! He smiles almost constantly and has started to "talk" to mommy and daddy in his sweet coo's. His coo's are the most beautiful sound in the world and we can't hardly get enough of them! This works out pretty well because he's become a real talker lately! In fact, he held a conversation with his grandma this morning on speaker phone! He's his mama's boy! He's begun to think he's pretty funny too. I will frequently catch him looking at something and suddenly he'll break out in a big smile and start laughing. He's also found his toes. He loves to sit in his bed in the morning or in his bouncy chair while mama does her chores and talk to his toes. He's been practicing trying to grab them and he's almost there! He's also been really trying to reach for my hair, fingers, daddys lip and the kitty. The cat is delighted as you can imagine! He has really started to take an intere
st in
putting things into his mouth. And so it begins! He's started to try to sit up too and he's got such a strong little upper body that I'm not sure its going to be much longer until he just decides to do it!
We went for our 2 month check-up on the 8th and everything is perfect. He now weighs 13.8 pounds and is 23 3/4 inches long. He's in the 94th percentile for weight, 86th percentile for length and 72nd percentile for his head diameter. Lots and lots of room for his huge genius brain:) The doctor also told me that he's about a month ahead of his peers developmentally. Such a big and smart boy! He's already giving mommy and daddy a run for our money and we imagine it will only get better once he's mobile! We couldn't ask for a sweeter, happier or smarter baby and we just can't wait to see what he does next!
As many of you know, Caleb has reflux. And I'm not talking just a little colic here and there, I'm talking 24 hour a day 7 day a week discomfort. To give you an idea of what he's going through, the experts describe it as being about 10 times worse than colic and about 50 times worse than what we as adults know as heartburn. Not fun! We've had him on 2 different medications in the last month or so and still haven't found anything that really helps all of the time. When he was initially diagnosed, we were warned that acute reflux is very resistant to treatment and we shouldn't expect any sort of quick fix. That couldn't have been more accurate! She also said that infants almost always grow out of reflux by the time they're 6-8 months old so that's encouraging. I've suspected for about 3 weeks now that he's lactose intollerant as well. We were back to see the doctor this last Friday and she confirmed that he is in fact lactose intollerant and instructed me to change him to soy f
ormula
right away. Just what he needs right, something else irritating his little tummy! So far the soy formula seems to be agreeing with him though and helping a bit with the reflux. We also switched his medication again so hopefully this will be the winning combination. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for us!
This brings me to my next point. I'm not aware of anything in this world that is as painful as watching your tiny baby suffer and not being able to do anything besides try your very hardest to comfort him and get the both of you through a day. One day at a time, it won't be this way forever. I have to repeat those words to myself every hour of every day. We have days that he just screams and wiggles around in pain for pretty much the entire day and night and nothing I can do helps. We have days when he is a little better but still bordering on inconsolable for the better part of the day and night. Then we have days, usually after a particularly bad day, that he's just so exhausted that he doesn't even have the energy to put up a fuss so he sleeps intermitently all day. Like I said, its excruciating and positivly heartbreaking to watch and try to deal with. I've been told that motherhood is going to bed every night and promising yourself that you'll do better tomorrow. That's
about
all I know to do at the end of each day. Its begun to take a real toll on me and I hate that.
As all of you mothers know, I am instinctually compelled to do anything and everything I can to help him. When I can't make it better it's devistating. It's a feeling that I can't explain and I don't think you could fully grasp the magnitude of this feeling unless you've ever had it. We've struggled to try to explain just how terrible this really is for Caleb to our family and friends and not a lot of people so far have really understood. The hardest part of these last 2 1/2 months hasn't been the lack of sleep or lack of social life, its been the demands and expectations of those around us. Trying to get everyone to understand that Caleb isn't your normal 2 month old and that he can't handle a lot of the things that most babies his age can has been a challenge at the very least. Of course everyone has nothing but the best of intentions and would never intentionally do anything to harm Caleb in any way. Prioritizing our outtings and visits has become a challenge as well and a
lot of
people have become angry with us. It's important that we get over to vist with Brett's Grandparents and Grandma Wright, my Grandma, my Mom and Brett's parents but these have to be well planned trips. We try to stagger any other visits throughout the week and all of the day to day errands usually wait until Brett is home. When you have a baby with reflux you don't just load them in the car and go do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. When we're to be somewhere I have to start first thing in the morning with trying to get him down for naps and trying to keep him well rested and with doing my level best to keep him as un-stimulated as possible. Any sort of new stimuli sends reflux babies over the edge and brings on new attacks. They do their very best when at home with familiar faces and little to no new stimuli. We have to be so careful at home about the volume of the TV and the lights and any new smells otherwise he's miserable. So you see, a seemingly harmless trip
to the
grocery store, dinner out or a visit isn't something that we can do frequently or on a whim.
Its been suggested more than once by more than a few people that Brett and I need to get out, without Caleb, for dinner and a movie. That won't be happening anytime in the near future. He's only 2 months old and I'm not at all comfortable leaving him with anyone right now. He's just too little and doesn't need to be seperated from me right now if its not imperative that we do so. Furthermore, how am I ever to explain to anyone how to take care of him? As I said, this isn't your standard 2 month old. It would take me a month to make a list of what he needs and explain to someone how to keep him comfortable and honestly I have to be looking at him to know what he needs. I've been called a lot of things and accused of spoiling him because I won't allow anyone to tend him. I'm fine with this. Maybe once he's a little older and we've got a better handle on his medication and on how to keep him comfortable I'll feel differently. Maybe I'm wrong but I have to do what I think is best
for
Caleb and I just cannot see making Caleb suffer just so Brett and I can go eat some dinner. I've heard over and over that such-and-such left their baby with someone when they were just weeks old and that such-and-such goes here and there and just takes baby right along. That's wonderful, I wish that Caleb and I didn't have to spend most of our days in this house but if that's what it takes for him feel well then that's exactly what we'll do! I cannot wait until we can do all of the things that we want to do and to show Caleb the world! I cannot wait until everyone gets to see the sweet happy boy that Brett and I know. Until then, I hope that we can find a way to get and keep Caleb comfortable and that everyone will be patient with us.
I will post new picture soon and keep everyone updated on how we're doing and how Caleb is feeling!
P.S. we have a 2 month old today. How bizzare and awesome is that?!
