Our Crazy Life!

Hello everyone!

I haven't forgotten about you, life has just been out of control busy recently. I think about posting to my blog almost daily but by the time the house is quiet and I've got a free minute all I want to do is go to bed!

We've been busy with family, friends, Halloween and preparing for the holidays. Until Brett's cousins and aunts started emailing me for Caleb's Christmas list last week I hadn't even noticed that the holidays were nearing! My head is still stuck in July!

Caleb is growing so fast its unbeleivable! We had his 4 month checkup last Monday and he is solidly in the 80th percentile for his growth in all areas. The doctor still estimates that he's about 3 months ahead developmentally and that he'll crawl before Christmas. I found myself light headed when she told me that! Before Christmas?! He's started to leap out of my arms to grab things and scootches anytime I set him down anywhere so its really only a matter of time until he gets it! Its amazing to watch him discover something and then figure it out. He's such a smart little stinker!

I wish I could report that Caleb is feeling better but we're really no better off than we've ever been. We've got an appointment with a pediatric GI specialist at Childrens Hospital on December 2nd and we hope that he'll be able to help us. We've switched medications 3 times now but nothing seems to work very well or for very long and its just torture for all of us. This poor little boy has been miserable for almost all 4 months and this has just got to stop. I worry that if we don't get this under control soon that its going to start interfering with his development. The poor little guy doesn't get to go anywhere or do anything because he's always so tired and cranky and that's just no way to live. Please pray that this specailist will be able to help us.

In the rare moments when Caleb is happy and not in pain he is SO much fun! He's started giggling and trying to talk and I swear that that little giggle is wired directly to my tear ducts! Everytime he gets tickled about something and starts laughing I start bawling! He just looks at me like "geesh mom, get it together would ya?!". He particularly thinks his daddy and gammy are funny. Its fun to watch him and Brett play and talk in the evenings when they don't think I'm looking. Caleb loves to talk on the phone and talks to his Gammy (my mom) almost daily. He actually gets angry if I'm on the phone and don't include him in the conversation! He'll take the phone from me if he can reach it! Brett's mom has started to come over on Wednesday's to spend the evening with us and Caleb has come to expect and love her visits. He is a Grandma baby! He loves his Grandma's and can't get enough of any of them! Its a good thing that he's got 7 of them and that they're all as crazy about him
as he
is about them!

Its crazy to think that in just 6 weeks it will be a whole new year. This year has been so busy that it seems like its gone by in the blink of an eye and I'm kind of sad to see it go. This has been the most wonderful year of my life so far and I'm not sure that anything will ever be able to top it. Brett is considering making a big career change after the first of the year and that will bring a lot of changes to our lives. He'll be home a lot less than we're used to but this is what he's always wanted to do so we're going to make it work. As soon as we can get Caleb a little more stabilized l would like to maybe find a part-time job. I miss working and think that getting out of the house for a few hours a week would probably do me some good. Its going to be very hard to leave my angel though so I'm not in any great hurry. In fact, we've yet to leave him at all so I suppose I'll need to master dinner out before I can commit to a job.

That's about all the updates I have for now. We hope that you all have a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for this year and hope that you all do too!

Xoxo,

Brett, Sam and Caleb

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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.

4 Months Ago

At 2:10am exactly 4 months ago today I fell in love with the most handsome boy in the world. I became a mommy and we became a family. The last 4 months of my life have been more blessed than I can describe and I can't imagine what I would do without Caleb. Some days when its quiet I look at Caleb and feel like pinching myself. Surely this must be a dream! Brett and I truely feel like we've been given one of God's angels.

Happy 4 month birthday monkey!
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.

3 Months Ago

3 months ago today I met the most handsome boy the universe has ever seen and I fell madly in love. Every single day of my life is better than the last because I get to spend it with him.

Becoming a mother has certainly been an adventure. Its everything I thought it would be and more. When you're pregnant everyone tells you how wonderfull motherhood will be and tries to give you tips on how to prepare yourself for it. There is no preparing for motherhood! This is an open book test and you will be expected to seek out the answers anywhere you can find them. There's little room for error and the grading curve tends to be VERY steep! I have a few girlfriends that are expecting and a few more that are trying to get pregnant. Each of them has asked me over the last 3 months to tell them what to expect and give them tips on how to prepare themselves. I've composed the following list for them:

- It matters not who you were before you became a mother. You could've had nerves of steele and the energy of the Energizer Bunny. No matter who you were pre-motherhood you will now become an unshowered, indecisive, hormonal, sleep deprived, love stricken ball of nerves that spends all of her time worrying about things that would've never crossed your radar previously. You will range anywhere from self doubt to guilt to elation and everywhere in between all day long. Sure, this doesn't sound pleasant but its really quite exciting most of the time!

- You will repeatedly catch yourself wondering what you ever could've done right to deserve such an immense blessing. If you didn't have any sort of faith in a higher being, you will now!

- Your clothes won't fit, your hair will either be greasy or the texture of dry grass (either way its still falling out in clumps and you're afraid you'll be bald by morning). Speaking of hair, you now have it EVERYWHERE and are starting to resemble an ape. You may need a tampon at any given moment throughout the day as that part of your body now has a mind of its own and won't be back on any sort of a schedule until God only knows when. Your teeth haven't been brushed since... well, since you're not sure when because you keep forgetting! You'll need some very expensive and very heavy makeup to cover up the circles under your eyes, the acne scars and that lovely pigmentation issue that cropped up sometime in the last trimester of pregnancy. The funny part is that you couldn't care less! I'm typically fastidious about grooming and my apperance but, as my mother pointed out, the baby doesn't care if you're hairy or have on any makeup!

- Its just poop! Of course the first few days you're a little squeamish because you've not ever had to tend to anyone elses behind but your own but after that it gets better. Honestly, after the first time you've had a constipated and screaming baby, you're more than happy to see a little poop! In addition, poop will become a hot topic of conversation around your house. What color, what consitency, what time, how many times etc. Although this is a topic of interest for you, the cashier at the grocery store, your mechanic and all of your Facebook friends won't be interested. I know, what's their problem?!

- Your schedule is no longer your own, day or night. This especially holds true if you're nursing. All of those daydreams you had while pregnant of putting the baby down for a nap in his crib at exactly 11:00, getting your housework done, returning phone calls and taking a shower will be shattered once you realize that babys sleep when they want to sleep, not when you want them to. Although you get up at 5am these days, you're lucky if by 5pm when your husband walks through the door you've gotten the dishes in the dishwasher and gotten yourself and the baby out of your PJ's. You get extra points if you manage to have remembered to take something out for dinner and brush your teeth! Your husband will appreciate your not having dragon breath while briefing him on the state of the poop that day!

- You will start to truely envy the octopus. What wouldn't you give to have just 2 more arms? You will learn to multi task like a champ. You learn quickly that when you're holding a sleeping baby, and you'd like him to stay asleep, you use any means necessary to get what you need without the assistance of your hands. Toes work just as well as fingers with a little practice!

- That gym memebership that you used to pay a million dollars a month for? You won't be needing that anymore. Carrying around a 15 pound baby who's a light sleeper while trying to fold laundry, make dinner and go potty is more cardio than you ever got in your past life. You'll have the upper body of a tennis pro in 6 weeks! That stretched out spare tire around your midsection is a little trickier. I've not figured that one out yet..

And finally,

- You will wake up every morning with an unwavering commitment to do whatever it takes, no matter the toll on your body, checkbook or social life, to make this precious baby happy because you love him with every fiber of your very being and existence. Its all very simple really, he is your life now. Everytime he smiles at you it solidifies that commitment just a little more. Until you become a mother you will never know how much you can really love someone nor will you truely know the meaning of sacrifice.

Its just a big crazy mess most days but you won't mind. You'll learn that having a spotless house isn't as important or nearly as much fun as watching your smiling baby and listening to him coo. Eventually you'll start caring about your hair and your clothes again but by that time you'll be too busy chasing around a toddler who's into everything to really fuss about it!

These last 3 months have been the happiest of my life. I'm not sure anymore what I did without Caleb but I'm sure it had to have been pretty boring! I couldn't ask for a cuter, sweeter and smarter baby than Caleb, a better husband than Brett, better friends or a better family. Brett and I are truely blessed.

Once I figure out how to post pictures ( they changed the process) I've got about a million for you to see! Stay tuned, I've got a feeling that this is going to be a very exciting month!

Xoxo,

Brett, Sam and Caleb
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.

Never A Dull Moment!

What a fun week! This week has been full of playing and learning. Not only has my little Mensa canidate figured out how to grab his toes he's also figured out how to grab everything else in sight and put it into his mouth! In the matter of days Brett and I have gone from having a smiling little ball of jerky movements to having to watch every little thing he gets near. And so it begins.. As I'd mentioned, Caleb is REALLY interested in the kitty! He looks like he's really thinking hard about how he's going to get that kittys tail in his mouth. Needless to say, the cats are starting to sleep with one eye open these days!

The last 2 weeks have been almost like a dream around here. Ever since the change in Caleb's formula and increase in his medication it seems like a dark cloud has been lifted and we're starting to see the sun again. We rarely have hysterical crying for no apparent reason and he's starting to nap a little better. I've even gotten him into his swing a few times this week for a snooze. Prior to this week, anytime I would even act like I was going to set him down in the swing he would scream until he was purple so we're making progress! I think that he's so used to feeling awful that he just doesn't know what to do with himself when he doesn't. Hence our napping problem. Its entirely possible that he's just a cat napper by nature however I find that hard to believe given that he sleeps so well at night. I don't think we'll truely know until he's been feeling well for more than a few days or hours at a time. We're extreemly hopefull that we've found a system that's going to work f
or him.

We're still struggling, unfortunatly, with trying to make people understand that, although it seems that he's getting better, we're still not out of the woods. We're also not real willing to rock the boat right now. As silly as it may seem, we're afraid that one false move and we'll be right back at square one. We're not ready to risk it just yet. I'm also no more ready now than I've ever been to leave him with someone. I think Brett put it best when he said that people are treating its as though Caleb is 12 and we're not allowing him out of the house without us. He's not even 3 months old yet. Most days he wants Mama and only Mama and I don't see a thing wrong with that. There will come a day, sooner than I'd prefer to think about, that he's not going to want a thing to do with me. Until that day comes, I will be right here whenever he needs or wants me. Furthermore, I kind of like the little guy and I prefer to spend all of my time with him! I don't want to miss one smile,
giggle,
coo or tear. I will know when I'm ready but that's not going to be anytime soon.

Typically Sunday mornings are my morning to sleep in but tomorrow is the last Wright golf outting of the year so I'm on duty. I had better get to bed, my little charge doesn't take no for an answer when he's ready to get up!

Yay!

Good morning all!

Today is the day, Caleb has found his sweet toes! He's been working hard to get ahold of them and he finally has! He scared himself when he finally did it but now he's even more interested in doing it again! Its pretty funny to watch him concentrating on them in the morning.

I feel like notifying the media! I'm glad that he thinks his toes are as great as we do:)

Updates And Such

Hello all of my dear blog friends!

I'm sorry I've not posted more recently, we've had a very busy few weeks! There's so much to catch you up on! Where to start...?

When he's feeling well and has taken some amount of a nap, Caleb is about the happiest baby I've ever known! He smiles almost constantly and has started to "talk" to mommy and daddy in his sweet coo's. His coo's are the most beautiful sound in the world and we can't hardly get enough of them! This works out pretty well because he's become a real talker lately! In fact, he held a conversation with his grandma this morning on speaker phone! He's his mama's boy! He's begun to think he's pretty funny too. I will frequently catch him looking at something and suddenly he'll break out in a big smile and start laughing. He's also found his toes. He loves to sit in his bed in the morning or in his bouncy chair while mama does her chores and talk to his toes. He's been practicing trying to grab them and he's almost there! He's also been really trying to reach for my hair, fingers, daddys lip and the kitty. The cat is delighted as you can imagine! He has really started to take an intere
st in
putting things into his mouth. And so it begins! He's started to try to sit up too and he's got such a strong little upper body that I'm not sure its going to be much longer until he just decides to do it!

We went for our 2 month check-up on the 8th and everything is perfect. He now weighs 13.8 pounds and is 23 3/4 inches long. He's in the 94th percentile for weight, 86th percentile for length and 72nd percentile for his head diameter. Lots and lots of room for his huge genius brain:) The doctor also told me that he's about a month ahead of his peers developmentally. Such a big and smart boy! He's already giving mommy and daddy a run for our money and we imagine it will only get better once he's mobile! We couldn't ask for a sweeter, happier or smarter baby and we just can't wait to see what he does next!

As many of you know, Caleb has reflux. And I'm not talking just a little colic here and there, I'm talking 24 hour a day 7 day a week discomfort. To give you an idea of what he's going through, the experts describe it as being about 10 times worse than colic and about 50 times worse than what we as adults know as heartburn. Not fun! We've had him on 2 different medications in the last month or so and still haven't found anything that really helps all of the time. When he was initially diagnosed, we were warned that acute reflux is very resistant to treatment and we shouldn't expect any sort of quick fix. That couldn't have been more accurate! She also said that infants almost always grow out of reflux by the time they're 6-8 months old so that's encouraging. I've suspected for about 3 weeks now that he's lactose intollerant as well. We were back to see the doctor this last Friday and she confirmed that he is in fact lactose intollerant and instructed me to change him to soy f
ormula
right away. Just what he needs right, something else irritating his little tummy! So far the soy formula seems to be agreeing with him though and helping a bit with the reflux. We also switched his medication again so hopefully this will be the winning combination. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for us!

This brings me to my next point. I'm not aware of anything in this world that is as painful as watching your tiny baby suffer and not being able to do anything besides try your very hardest to comfort him and get the both of you through a day. One day at a time, it won't be this way forever. I have to repeat those words to myself every hour of every day. We have days that he just screams and wiggles around in pain for pretty much the entire day and night and nothing I can do helps. We have days when he is a little better but still bordering on inconsolable for the better part of the day and night. Then we have days, usually after a particularly bad day, that he's just so exhausted that he doesn't even have the energy to put up a fuss so he sleeps intermitently all day. Like I said, its excruciating and positivly heartbreaking to watch and try to deal with. I've been told that motherhood is going to bed every night and promising yourself that you'll do better tomorrow. That's
about
all I know to do at the end of each day. Its begun to take a real toll on me and I hate that.

As all of you mothers know, I am instinctually compelled to do anything and everything I can to help him. When I can't make it better it's devistating. It's a feeling that I can't explain and I don't think you could fully grasp the magnitude of this feeling unless you've ever had it. We've struggled to try to explain just how terrible this really is for Caleb to our family and friends and not a lot of people so far have really understood. The hardest part of these last 2 1/2 months hasn't been the lack of sleep or lack of social life, its been the demands and expectations of those around us. Trying to get everyone to understand that Caleb isn't your normal 2 month old and that he can't handle a lot of the things that most babies his age can has been a challenge at the very least. Of course everyone has nothing but the best of intentions and would never intentionally do anything to harm Caleb in any way. Prioritizing our outtings and visits has become a challenge as well and a
lot of
people have become angry with us. It's important that we get over to vist with Brett's Grandparents and Grandma Wright, my Grandma, my Mom and Brett's parents but these have to be well planned trips. We try to stagger any other visits throughout the week and all of the day to day errands usually wait until Brett is home. When you have a baby with reflux you don't just load them in the car and go do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. When we're to be somewhere I have to start first thing in the morning with trying to get him down for naps and trying to keep him well rested and with doing my level best to keep him as un-stimulated as possible. Any sort of new stimuli sends reflux babies over the edge and brings on new attacks. They do their very best when at home with familiar faces and little to no new stimuli. We have to be so careful at home about the volume of the TV and the lights and any new smells otherwise he's miserable. So you see, a seemingly harmless trip
to the
grocery store, dinner out or a visit isn't something that we can do frequently or on a whim.

Its been suggested more than once by more than a few people that Brett and I need to get out, without Caleb, for dinner and a movie. That won't be happening anytime in the near future. He's only 2 months old and I'm not at all comfortable leaving him with anyone right now. He's just too little and doesn't need to be seperated from me right now if its not imperative that we do so. Furthermore, how am I ever to explain to anyone how to take care of him? As I said, this isn't your standard 2 month old. It would take me a month to make a list of what he needs and explain to someone how to keep him comfortable and honestly I have to be looking at him to know what he needs. I've been called a lot of things and accused of spoiling him because I won't allow anyone to tend him. I'm fine with this. Maybe once he's a little older and we've got a better handle on his medication and on how to keep him comfortable I'll feel differently. Maybe I'm wrong but I have to do what I think is best
for
Caleb and I just cannot see making Caleb suffer just so Brett and I can go eat some dinner. I've heard over and over that such-and-such left their baby with someone when they were just weeks old and that such-and-such goes here and there and just takes baby right along. That's wonderful, I wish that Caleb and I didn't have to spend most of our days in this house but if that's what it takes for him feel well then that's exactly what we'll do! I cannot wait until we can do all of the things that we want to do and to show Caleb the world! I cannot wait until everyone gets to see the sweet happy boy that Brett and I know. Until then, I hope that we can find a way to get and keep Caleb comfortable and that everyone will be patient with us.

I will post new picture soon and keep everyone updated on how we're doing and how Caleb is feeling!

Eeek!

So, here I sit, all alone... for the first time in 8 weeks and 1 day I am without baby. Brett came home from work tonight and announced that he was going over to his mom and dad's and would like to take Caleb with him. He thinks I may need an hour or so of "mommy time" which I believe may just be his way of telling me nicely that I look like warmed over hell! I shower, sleep, eat, shop and do laundry with Caleb right by my side. What am I to do with my "mommy time"? Blog I guess.. I'm not honestly sure what to do right now. I think its wonderfull that Brett's taken Caleb and they're going to have some guy time and see grandma and grandpa but I can't lie, I'm a nervous wreck! I've read that at this point they don't really comprehend the idea that something or someone exists when they can't see it or them. This idea suited me just fine up until about 15 minutes ago! In all honesty I'm afraid had Brett given me anymore notice than he did I would've lost it entirely. He likely kn
ew
this. In Caleb's short 8 weeks and 1 day of life he has never been without me for more than about 20 minutes at a time. I know he's in good hands with his dad (or at least his grandma) but I can't help but worry. I packed their diaper bag, made sure that Caleb was dressed warmly enough, kissed him goodbye 200 times and sent them on their way with strict orders to be gone no more than an hour. I suppose I should go do something about my ratty hair and clean the kitchen.. and try not to have a panick attack:) This day was coming eventually right?

New Pictures

I know I promised yesterday that I would post the new pictures of Caleb here. Well, I can't seem to figure out how to do that... :)

They are all on my Facebook so take a look if you'd like!

Pictures! Pictures!

So I've got a ton of new and awesome pictures of Caleb. Why have I not posted them you ask? Well, it turns out that this little boy of mine is already smarter than I am and knows when I want him to take a nap so I can get something done. Such as posting pictures. I will endeavor to have this done today. Let me know if you'd like a copy of the disk or the prints!

P.S. we have a 2 month old today. How bizzare and awesome is that?!

I Wish Someone Would've Warned Me..

I must have read 200 books when I was pregnant with Caleb. Seriously. I read everything I could find beginning with conception all the way up to 2 years old. Somehow in all of this reading I did I never thought to ask or find out what would be going on with me once the baby was here. I'm shocked to say the least.

I had an idea that my body would be a little out of whack for a little while but I never imagined that it would be like this. Don't get me wrong, he is entirely worth it and if we're completely honest here its not like the Sports Illustrated photographers were beating down the door prior to my becoming pregnant but geesh, will I ever have any semblance of my body back? Its not just the stretch marks or the bigger clothes that I didn't know about. I pretty much kissed my old jeans goodbye when I was about 8 weeks along. I knew that I would likely be in my maternity clothes for the duration of the summer and possibly part of fall. That's about as far as I had thought ahead. This is SO not like me!

For example, no one told me that I would open up my underpants drawer one morning and see all those tiny lacy numbers that used to fit and that I loved and start to laugh. There is no possible way that all of this is ever going to get back into all of that. Ditto on my bras. I never bothered to find out how long my body was going to have a mind of its own either. I will spare you the intimate details but will tell you that I certainly could've used some sort of information on periods and hemmeroids before leaving the hospital! I continually have to remind myself that getting Caleb here didn't exactly go ideally and that kind of trauma takes time to recover from. When I was told upon discharge from the hospital that I was looking at 8-10 weeks recovery I think I just chose to not believe it. I now know that was a pretty accurate estimate. Either way, when does this flappy mass of skin on my tummy go away? Will my shoes fit again or shall I toss those out with the underpants an
d bras?
What about the spots on my skin? Do those fade or will I forever look like a connect-the-dots game?

I read that there are women out there that are back into their pre-pregnancy clothes by 6 weeks and don't look like they've ever had a baby. Who are these women and how did they do that without a battery of surgeons, personal trainers and skilled photographers?! Where in the world am I to find the time and energy to work out and tend to my blotchy skin? I think, for now, I will just be happy in the clothes and skin that I have!
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.

And Then He Colicked

Colic: Noun

Intense abdominal discomfort marked by periods of irritability and crying. No known causes or cures however it is thought to decrease in frequency within the first 3-6 months of life.

This is how Websters defines colic. I beg to differ. My definition would go something like this:

Colic: Verb

An affliction by which your otherwise sweet, happy, smiling angel baby turns into a screaming, purple- faced, inconsolable basketcase. Mommy's fairly confident that gas is causing this however she's trying to make sure you're taking a breath here and there between shrieks and trying not to become an inconsolable basketcase herself so there's really no time for reflection on what the cause(s) may be. Both Grandma and Daddy can expect to get a frantic call at work as can the peditrician.

So there we were having a nice morning of playing and singing and cuddling when out of no where my precious angel is suddenly beside himself. I went down the typical list of feed, change pants, rock, too hot, too cold, uncomfortable, bored, overstimulated, and overtired. Nothing. It was almost as if the harder I tried the more he felt I was patronizing him. He would just get more and more angry with every attempt I made to help. I tried upstairs and downstairs, the floor, his crib, my chest, my bed, dark room and soft music all to no avail. After 2 hours of this I was on the verge of tears and just sure that we needed to get to the emergency room. I've of course heard of colic however I didn't think that it would apply to us. Typically this child burps and passes gas like a truck driver with little or no help. You have to be gassy in order to colic right? Wrong. As the nice lady who fielded my frantic call at the peditricians office told me, colic is not always just gas,
particularily at this age. It can be caused a lot of times by overstimulation. Now they tell me... As I mentioned in a previous post, I believe, as much as I hate to admit it, that I tend to push Caleb to do what I think he should be doing. ie: playing with all of his colorfull toys and listening to me babble endlessly while making stupid faces. Of course this is, most of the time, the exent of the "playing" that we can do together right now. Apparently, just like anyone else, babies can just get plain old annoyed when someone won't shut up! Who knew?! Although I won't typically admit it willingly, I'm a talker. I'm known for this. I may need to work on that seeing as my 6 week old son is already trying to tell me that I talk too much! We've also been out of the house and had quite a few visitors recently so it may be time to scale that back a bit for now.

After I FINALLY was able to calm him down, we both lied down (read:collapsed) for a 4 hour nap. If there was ever a time that I needed a nap, that was the day! Unfortunatly this happened again the next day. Same thing, same time but for a little bit longer. By the time he finally passed out cold of exhaustion that day I was sure I was going to need to be medicated and possibly take drinking back up if this was the way our mornings were going to go from now on! The doctor and everything I read tells me that colic almost never lasts past 3 or so months of age. This is supposed to comfort and reassure me I guess. 3 months old is a LONG time away when you've got a screaming unhappy 6 week old for 3 hours everyday! I'm happy to report however that we haven't had anymore problems with this since (knock on some wood, fast)!. The trick seems to be not to let him get anywhere close to overtired. I've found that if we stick to an 11:00am morning nap then we do just fine. Wish us luck w
ith
staying on schedule! Keeping any kind of schedule right now is almost always easier said than done but we're trying anyway!

Its an interesting thing to suddenly and constantly be second guessing yourself and your every decision. Never, in either my personal or professional life, have I ever encountered anything that shakes my confidence or makes me second guess my every move like this little guy can. I'm typically a pretty confident, decisive and secure girl. Not anymore! I find myself trying to decide with everything I do, or don't do as the case may be, if I'm going to in some way irreversably damage his pshyche or person. I blame all of the reading I do. Everything out there right now will tell you that, no matter what you do, you will cause your child to be Autistic. They talk about Autisim like its the black plague, as in if your child should be autistic all will be lost and the earth will cease to rotate. The powers that be would have you believe that every single child in the nation has Autisim and its their mama's fault. There's a commercial on TV right now advertising the Whooping Cough
vaccination. They tell you that children get Whooping Cough from being held close to their parents (specifically their mother) and Grandparents. The first time I saw it I was ready to start calling our entire family to tell them that they wouldn't be allowed within 200 yards of Caleb until they'd had their vaccine until Brett pointed out that I was being absurd. Was I really going to demand that the entire family be vaccinated whether they wanted to or not? In short, yes I was! See what I mean? The world makes it pretty easy to become a indecisive nutcase! I know in my right mind that's the chances of Autisim or even Whooping Cough are pretty slim but still... what if...?

In closing I would like to thank all of you for your sweet comments. I've been told by quite a few of you that you think I'm a tallented writer and that, so far, you've been enjoying our stories. Writing is something that I've always enjoyed however I guess I never really realized that I had a knack for it. I have my Grandma to thank for fostering my love of reading at a very early age. A large vocabulary will never be something you'll regret having! I have to ask you to bear with me on my spelling. I don't have a spell checker available when posting by email from my phone as I most often do. I can spell, I swear:) I'm actually quite surprised that so many people have enjoyed reading about our day to day life. I figured that most people would find my blog to be smashing bore and only really look at it for the adorable (if I do say so myself) pictures of Caleb. I can't imagine that I will ever tire of sharing pictures of Caleb's sweet face and all of the darling and funny thi
ngs he
does.

I will continue trying to keep you all updated as I have the time. There's always a story to tell by the end of the day!

All of our love,

Brett, Sam and Caleb

--
Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.

Oh What Fun!

I must apologize for not blogging more recently but I've had my hands full! All of the sudden, in the last 3 or so days, Caleb has gone from a tiny infant to a curious and alert little person. Suddenly he can see his surroundings and I can tell that he gets some of what is going on around him. Since we've been home I've struggled with activities for him. What are we to do all day? As it turns out, not much right now I'm learning. His job is to sleep, eat, poop and repeat and its not an entirely bad idea for mama to try to sleep and eat in between there. Now that he can see what's going on around him our options have opened up a bit and I'm not sure I'm not having more fun most of the time than he is!

Before he was born I fussed and fussed about making sure he had enough toys. Plenty of well meaning people told me that this was not anything to be concerned with right now. As you may guess I ignored them completely. No child of mine would come into this world without a toy to his name! What would we do when it was time to play?! Little did I know that "play", at this stage, to handsome here is watching mama do the dishes or fold clothes or pretty much anything that I or his Daddy will do within his line of sight and narrate for him. He's perfectly happy lying in his little napper watching me do anything and babble like an fool to myself! Not exactly the days filled with rattles and Nerf footballs like I imagined! He actually tends to look at me like I've lost my mind when I try to get him to play with one of his toys. He stares at me as if to say "mom, I'm only a month old, will you back off with the toys already? Geesh, don't you know anything"? I suppose I should just get
used
to this look as its surely not the last one I will get in his life! This all changed about 3 days ago though..

We woke up and came downstairs to have our usual bottle, diaper change and caffiene fix. After all of the necessities had been tended to I decided to lie him on the floor for a little tummy time. He's not a big fan of tummy time unless he's on your chest so he normally pitches a fit. He did exactly that as soon as I set him down that morning. I turned him over on his back and we started with the usual of mama making faces and sounds. Much to my pleasure and surprise he smiled at me! And not one of the "its just gas" kind of smiles either, I'm talking a full on gummy smile. I cried like an idiot for 10 minutes, text messaged everyone I knew and posted it on my Facebook. By the time I pulled myself together he was crying too! Ever since we've spent a good part of our days lying on the floor or walking around outside looking at things. When I point things out to him, he follows my finger and makes sounds that tell me that he sees and acknowledges what I'm showing him. What a si
mple
but satisying thing it is to see the world again through a childs eyes. Its truely an amazing blessing and privilege to watch this little guy learn about the world around him everyday. I can't wait until we can really explore together and do more hands-on things. As I've mentioned before, I'm a bit of an over achiever and I catch myself pushing Caleb to do things that he may not be ready for just yet so I'm working on my patience. Like I said, I think that I'm having more fun most days than he is!

I've been trying hard to catch a picture of his beautiful smile and as soon as I do I won't be able to stop myself from sharing it with everyone! Stay tuned!
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Where Does The Time Go?

Is this not the sweetest smile you've ever seen?! Everytime he smiles it feels like the first time I've ever seen it and it melts my heart all over again! Luckily we're getting to see it more and more these days.

Tomorrow, at 2:10am, our precious baby boy will be one month old. I for one can't believe its already been a whole month. The days fly by around here in a flurry of feedings, diaper changes, laundry and dishes and time seems to be getting away from me. I'm trying desperatly to slow down and enjoy every minute I have with him but I'm not sure that when they're this little its possible. There's just so much to do and I often find that I have to remind myself that the wash will wait and life will go on if the bathroom doesn't get cleaned until tomorrow. This is the part of my personality ( and Brett's too if we're being honest) that I have to watch closely. Being an overachiever has served me very well for most of my life but it seems to be working against me more often than not these days. A sleep deprived mama with clean bathrooms is not a happy and fun mama and that's more important right now.

These first precious moments in my sons life are the reason that his daddy and I have worked so hard to make sure I can stay home full time. I can't imagine a greater blessing than being able to witness all of his firsts and see him learn and grow everyday. As many of you know, because of the complications we had during labor and delivery, Caleb will very likely be our one and only. Being able to stay home full time and experience this with him is the greatest gift Brett has ever given me or will ever give to Caleb. Caleb and I are lucky to have such a wonderful husband and daddy!

We will try to do a better job of posting pictures. I take pictures all day everyday so there are plenty to share! We just need a free moment to upload and post them! We just can't get enough of him!
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Things I Wish I Would've Know

The entire time I was pregnant with Caleb everyone I knew ( and even a few that I didn't) tried to tell me what they thought I needed to know before becoming a mother. A lot of it was pretty universal no matter who you talked to, a lot of it was very helpful and comforting and some of it was just plain scary. I worry enough for everyone so I don't need any help being scared and worried! Like any first time parents we are terrified that we may not only hurt him physically but also somehow scar him emotionally for the rest of his life. We, of course, logically realize that God made these little creatures resilliant if not only for the reason that parents make mistakes. We are under no false impressions that we will be any different.

Everyone told us how hard these first few months would be, how parenthood would irrevocably change us as people and as a couple forever and how we would just instinctivly know a lot of the things that we would need to know so to trust those instincts always. These are the things that stand out in my mind as the most helpful advice we received. There are so many things that I've figured out in the last 3 weeks that I wish someone would've shared with me so now I will share them with all of my soon-to-be mommy friends.

- You've never, ever known love like this. It can't be described. For some it happens as soon as you see your brand new baby and for others it takes a little time. As long as you get there, that's all that matters. It's an amazing moment for a mother when you realize that you've always loved this tiny miracle, you just hadn't met them yet.

- You will automatically stop considering yourself and your own needs. What you need and want no longer matters to you. You will do absolutely anything to make sure this baby has what he needs and wants.

- You had no idea what tired was before now. I don't care how many late nights you've had partying/studying/worrying, you've never known exhaustion like this. Like I said though, it's completely worth it.

- You will figure out, sooner rather than later most likely, that you are going to be peed on, spit up on, pooped on and thrown up on. A lot of times all in the same day. Plan on spending the better part of your day hunched over your changing table. Also, don't wear anything you're too attached to, anything that comes out of baby stains like you wouldn't believe!

- You will be expected to be a mind reader. Read all the books you'd like on hunger cues and symptomatic communiction, God knows I did, but you still won't understand why this precious angel is screaming his face off and turning shades of purple at 3am. Its all about keeping your cool and going through the process of elimination.

- Make time for yourself. Even if you just shut the door and sit in the bathroom in the peace and quiet for 10 minutes. Give that gift to yourself.

- No job that you've ever had or will have is as hard and demanding as being a mom. With that in mind, you'll never do anything that is this rewarding or fulfilling.

And last but certainly not least

- Make sure you're entering into this amazing journey with someone you can trust, rely on and laugh with.

In the end, all that matters is that the baby is happy, healthy and safe. If you've accomplished that, what's a little throw up in your hair? :)
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He's hungry again?

All this kid does is eat.. and eat.. and eat! If there's anything that he knows how to do and do well its eat. And poop. He does a shocking amount of that as well. I'm beginning to worry that he's either got a tape worm or a hollow appendage. To see him when he's hungry, which is about every 40-90 minutes, you'd think we're starving him. Clearly this isn't the case. We have the formula bill to prove it! Speaking of which, if he continues at this rate I'm afraid Brett's going to need a second job or we're going to need to take out a loan! He's such a big boy and growing so quickly that formula alone doesn't seem to be keeping him satisfied for long.

On my mom and grandma's advice I gave Caleb a little rice cereal tonight. He had about a tablespoon. I don't believe in putting it in a bottle for many reasons so I fed it to him by spoon. He not only ate it all but did so like a barracuda and ate off of his spoon like he was an old pro! I was all prepared for him to make faces and then spit it out at me right away but he surprised us. I can't lie, he did make a few faces and had to play with it for a minute before he got the hang of it but once that was all over he went to town!

I'm fully aware of both sides of the cereal argument, particularly as it pertains to giving it to infants. I would like to clarify that I didn't do it in hopes that it would make him sleep longer at night. I also don't agree with that reasoning. He only wakes up twice in the night and is only awake long enough to eat, burp and have his pants changed so there wouldn't be any reason for me to try to trick him into sleeping better. We consider ourselves fortunate that he already sleeps so well. Even with this nasty cold that he's had he's still slept for at least 2 hours at a time. It seems that he's his mothers child!

The problem now is that, after he had his cereal, he of course passed out cold for about an hour and then was awake and wanting a 4 ounce bottle. He took another 45 minute nap and then had another 2 ounces. He's been up roughly every hour or so since and had at least 2 ounces each time so we're really right back where we started. If anyone has any better ideas, I'm absolutely open for suggestions! It just doesn't seem to me that he's satisfied after his feedings although he is giving me my requisite of wet diapers. What's a mama to do?

P.S. We took a bunch of really cute pictures of him eating his cereal. I will post them soon!

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How The Time Flys!

At 2:30 this morning I was awake (sort of) feeding monkey and it dawned on me, at 2:30am exactly 3 weeks ago he had just been born and was probably having his first bath with Daddy while I was in surgery. Where did the last 3 weeks go? As this was all running through my mind I was looking at Caleb and thinking that it seems he's been here all my life. Its an amazing thing to realize how much you've missed and loved someone that didn't even exist. He's the tiny piece of my life that's been missing this whole time and what I truely belive I was put on this earth for. I think his Daddy feels the same way. Neither of us can imagine how we ever lived without him. We are sleep deprived, quickly becoming poor with the way this kid eats and poops, and our house is cluttered and filthy but we wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Whatever it takes, he's worth it!

Caleb and I had somewhat of a rough start together. Our labor and birth was very long and traumatic for both of us and it very nearly killed me. He was taken away from me as soon as he was born and we didn't meet until about 5 hours later. We spent about 45 minutes together and then he was wisked away from me again so that I could rest and have the 2nd of 3 blood transfusions. For the first few days I had seen him so little that he seemed like a figment of my imagination. As you can imagine, that first 24 hours of seperation hindered our initial bonding. In the weeks since we've been home we've made up for that lost time but it hasn't been easy to do so. The first week we were home there was an almost constant stream of visitors. He dealt with all of the people, comotion and being manhandled pretty well for the first few days. Finally he'd had enough and just had a little baby panic attack. It was terrible and it took nearly 2 hours to calm him down. Brett and I decided then
and
there that we'd be drastically limiting the amount of people allowed to visit and not allow most people touch him. He's one of those babies that is very easily overstimulated and once he's reached that point all hell breaks loose!

We've managed to stick to our agreement to limit the amount of visitors that we have and people that are allowed to touch him and although its worked like a charm and we have a generally happy baby now we've managed in the process to upset more than a few friends and family members. We absolutely know that everyone has the very best of intentions and just wants to help and we are so genuinely grateful for everyone's help and support. We never intended to hurt anyone's feelings and we hope that they will understand that our sole motivation for doing this is to protect our little boy. We still, every minute of every day, want to show him off to anyone and everyone that has eyes and shout from the rooftops that we have the most precious and perfect angel God ever made but that's not what's right for Caleb. If you're one of the people that we've upset by doing this, please try not to be too angry with us. If you'll just be patient with us we promise that, once he and Mommy have h
ad some
time to get to know one another, we've found some semblance of a routine and mommy is all healed up everyone that wants to meet him and get to know him will be more than welcome!

We love all of you and can't wait for you to know this sweet baby boy!

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Mother And Let Mother

A few weeks before we found out we were pregnant with Caleb we learned that Brett's cousin Adam and his wife Stefanie were pregnant and his cousin Christie and her husband Pete were pregnant too, both with little girls. We were all due within 3 weeks of each other. Of course we were all ecstatic, how much better does it get than having 3 new babies all within weeks of each other? Brett and I were thankful that Caleb would have some cousins his own age to play with as our own siblings aren't anywhere close to having children yet.

Christie, Stefanie and I were lucky to have each other during our pregnancies and talked often. It was great to have 2 other people that knew exactly what you were going through and could relate. Or commiserate as was the case somedays. Now that these 3 sweet babies are here its amazing to see the differences in how we parent. It brings to mind something that has bothered me for a long time. It seems to me that mothers take every available opportunity to criticize, belittle and ostrasize other mothers. Why do we do this? Why does parenting your own individual child in your own individual way drive people, specifically other moms, to be so ugly? Being a mother, so far as I can tell in my 20 days of doing it, isn't a competition nor is how you do it up for public debate. They say that no two babies are alike so wouldn't it stand to reason that no two moms would be either? With the exception of abuse, neglect or any other extenuating circumstance there isn't any right or wrong w
ay to
be a good mom.

I say as long as they're fed, clothed, healthy, loved and safe you've done your job. Anything above and beyond that is personal choice and preference. I am not in charge of making the rules for your children. I'm not going to be held responsible for their actions nor do I have to put up with them. I make the rules and am responsible for my child and my child alone.

* I should mention that although I refered to Christie and Stef this is in no way directed at either of them, they are both fantastic mom's. It's not directed ant anyone actually, just people in general. *

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Am I missing something?

Now, as cute as this little monkey is stark naked, I would like it if he had some shorts or pants to wear. The problem is not that we don't have any shorts and pants. Quite the contrary actually, we have 2 drawers packed full of the cutest shorts and pants you've ever seen and that's just the newborn sizes. The problem is that none of them fit. He wears newborn onsies and shirts. In fact, he's almost outgrown all of his newborn onsies and shirts. Can anyone out there explain to me how it is that I have an almost 10 pound baby who's newborn size onsies and shirts are almost too small, but all of his newborn pants, shorts and overalls are still huge on him? I'm not talking a little room to grow here, I'm talking he's swimming in them and the shorts look like pants. He's still in newborn diapers too which I attribute more to the fact that he seems to have inherited his mama's lack of a behind.

Have I somehow missed some vital information pertaining to how to dress the bottom half of my child? I know he couldn't care less and since its been oppresivly hot he's more comfortable in just a onsie anyway but I feel bad for the poor guy. The handfull of times he's been out in public he's not had any pants on and every single vistor he's received has seen him dressed from only the waist up. A guy has to have some modesty right? I can picture him being upset with me as a teenager that I just left his business on the street in front of company and when he was in public! If he's upset about that I'm sure he's really not going to like that I shared this picture with the world! I can't help it, his nakedness is about the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Okay, maybe the upset teenager scenario is a little dramatic but really, what am I to do here?

Help!

Just Call Me Nurse Sam!

Caleb has his first cold. For some reason I thought we'd have at least another few months before he'd catch something. Apparently not. He and I were up all night long Friday night, he because he couldn't breathe out of his nose and was coughing and me because I was scared and had to watch to make sure he was still breathing. It's terrifying for a new Mom when your 18 day old baby cant breathe properly. By 6:00am I was a nervous, overtired wreck so I paged the doctor and, much to his displeasure, got him out of bed. Luckily our pediatricians office is open 7 days a week so we were able to be seen first thing Saturday morning. Sure enough, he has a cold and a pretty nasty one at that! The doctor sent us to the drug store for some saline nose drops and baby Tylenol. I was to come home, administer said nose drops as many times a day as I could and then aspirate his nose after doing it. Any of you that have ever had to do this know that, while this sounds easy enough, it's anything but. He screams, cries, gags and squirms. I promise him that it's almost over, hold my breath and do my best not to cry myself. Where is his owners manual?! Perhaps it's in the same place as my stack of money and skinny body!

From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Caleb I've read everything available on pregnancy, childbirth and babies. This is just what comes naturally to me. If I don't know about something or if I don't know how to do something I buy a book and read about it. I learned pretty early on that too much information can be worse than no information at all. The OBGYN had to tell me more than a few times during my pregnancy to stay off Google. I got myself all wound up again Friday night trying to "Google Diagnose" Caleb's symptoms. What I found told me that either he had a cold, a brain tumor or some form of Leukemia that I've never heard of. I was reminded again of why I should stay off of the computer and just page the doctor. Out of all of the things that I've read I can't say that anyone ever told me that being the mama of a sick baby is the most helpless feeling you will ever know. I cannot think of anything worse than watching your child suffer and not being able to do anything about it. His eyes are red and swollen, he's coughing, he's so congested you can hear him breathing from across the room and he can hardly sleep or eat and the best I can do is continue to put the drops in his nose and try to get some of this gunk out of there. I'm pretty sure, by the sounds of his screaming, that he'd prefer that I just leave it in there and let him feel like hell as opposed to what I'm doing. Poor little guy:(

Brett is out playing golf this afternoon so I think I will take this sweet boy and go try to take a nap. Is it still considered a nap when it's 5:30 at night?I think when you have a sick baby you can justify taking naps whenever and as often as you want. If I'm wrong, I don't want to know!

And Baby Makes 3!

So, I've decided to start a blog. I'm not sure how well I will do or like it but I after reading my cousin's blog yesterday I thought that this may be a good way to keep everyone updated as to how we're doing and what's new with us. In between feedings, diaper changes, laundry, cleaning the kitchen for the 4 millionth time and a nap here and there I vow to do my best to keep this blog current with pictures, news, my adventures as a new mom and our adventures as a family of 3.

I suppose the beginning is always a good place to start...

Back in October we were surprised and overjoyed to learn that I was pregnant with our 1st child. I say surprised because we weren't intending on getting pregnant just yet. We were actually planning on getting married (FINALLY!) this June. Sometimes life and the good Lord give you just what you need whether you know you need and want it or not. I took a pregnancy test on the afternoon of October 30th. I'd been feeling a little under the weather and just not like myself for about a week prior to that and had gone through the process of elimination before it occured to me that I may be pregnant. I was home alone that afternoon and when I saw those 2 little telltale blue lines I almost passed out! I couldn't believe it. I drove as fast as I could to the drug store and bought 2 more tests thinking that the 1st test must have been a fluke. As all of you ladies know, false positives with home pregnancy tests are almost unheard of. I know this as well but I wasn't listening to logic that afternoon! I got home and took the other 2 tests immediately, lined them up on the counter top, closed my eyes and counted to 10. I think it took all of about 2 seconds for the same 2 little blue lines to show up on those 2 tests too. At this point I had about $40.00 invested in home pregnancy tests and it seemed a little silly to rush back up to the drug store to buy another 2. What's funny is that I wasn't disappointed with the result I'd gotten with the 3 I'd taken, I just couldn't believe that it could be true and that I was going to get the one thing that I've always wanted the very most out of life, I was going to have a baby!!

I paced the house for about 15 minutes before realizing that I was going to burst if I didn't tell someone my news soon. I called my BFF in Florida and she screamed. I think she was just as shocked as I was. She was the first person to tell me that, if our calculations were correct, the baby would be due on my 28th birthday, July 5th. I hung up with her and decided to call my Mom. I had to call around for a few minutes before I reached her and when I finally did, it was loud and she could hardly hear me. When she finally did hear me clearly all she could say was "holy shit"! Sorry Mom, that was a classic response:) Once I had told my Mom I felt like it was real and I was on top of the world. I still had to tell Brett and he was due home in under an hour. Suddenly my elation was replaced with panic. How in the world was I going to break this to him? Hey babe, how was your day? By the way, do you have any plans next July? No? Well, would you like to be a Dad? That wasn't going to work... When Brett walked in that night I'm sure he could instantly tell that something was up. I told him in the middle of our kitchen before he'd even had a chance to set his things down and take off his shoes. I just blurted it out. He turned white as a ghost and kept asking me if I was sure. A minute or two later the color in his face slowly started to return and we hugged. That wasn't as bad as I thought! Our first doctors appointment was the following Wednesday and it was confirmed, I was 4 weeks along and due on July 5th.

We were lucky to have a pretty easy pregnancy with the exception of the first 3 1/2 months. I had vicious morning sickness and debilitating exhaustion. I had the kind of morning sickness that was also afternoon, evening, middle of the night and any time in between sickness. I was so tired that I'm still not sure how I managed to get out of bed and do anything at all during those months. I've always heard about the "glow" that pregnant women supposedly get. If by "glow" they mean raging acne, pure exhaustion, vomiting and nausea and greasy hair then I was glowing alright! Once we hit the 4 month mark it was like the spell had been lifted and I felt like a million bucks. The next 5 months flew by in a blur of ultrasounds, decorating, baby showers and preparations. This continued until about 2 weeks before our due date when I was just too big and it was too hot to do much of anything besides hide out in the AC and wait.

We went in on the evening of Monday July 5th to be induced. The doctor was afraid that Caleb was getting too big to wait any longer. We were told that the induction process would start that night, that they would start the pitocin and really kick things into gear the next morning and we could expect to have a baby by around 3pm on Tuesday the 6th. That would've been nice! Everything went according to the plan Monday night and Tuesday morning. By 11am Tuesday morning the doctor had broken my water, the pitocin had been increased and the contractions were beginning to become pretty regular and strong. Our entire family was at the hospital with us starting at about 8am Tuesday morning. It was wonderful having all of that company and distraction. We were really nervous so it was nice to not be in that great big sterile room alone with our thoughts and fears. Had we known then what we know now though we would've asked everyone to leave until we got a little closer so that we could've gotten some rest. Brett's pull-out futon in our room was less than uncomfortable and I can't say that the fancy adjustable hospital bed that I was in was any pillow top either. As it turned out, none of us ended up getting any sleep until about 8 the next morning.

Around 3pm on Tuesday a nurse came in to check on my progress. Just moments before that everyone had left to go get something to eat, some fresh air or just take a walk. The nurse found that the baby's heart rate had dropped dramatically and promptly put an oxygen mask on me. Before I knew it she was on the phone to my doctor telling her all sorts of things I didn't understand, hooking up more monitors to both me and the baby, injecting things into my IV and racing around so fast she became a blur to me. I panicked. I asked her what was going on but all she would tell me is that my doctor would be there soon and that everything was fine. It sure didn't seem fine from where I was sitting! Not 5 minutes later my doctor was there attaching yet more monitors and speaking to the nurse in what I can only assume is some sort of foreign language that you can only learn in medical school. I could tell something was wrong but no one was talking to me. The doctor explained that the baby's heart rate was very low and they were fairly sure that was because his cord was wrapped around his neck. She told me that they had gotten it back up to where it should be but that they were going to watch me closely for the next hour and should it drop dramatically again, I would need an emergency C-Section. Right then my Mom and Brett walked in and I lost it. That was possibly the scariest 15 minutes of my life. I got my epidural about an hour later and was finally able to get some rest. I don't know how anyone manages to labor for any more than an hour without an epidural!

After a very long afternoon and evening we began to push at about midnight. Two hours later, at 2:10am, Caleb was finally here! He weighed 7 pounds 14 Ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. It was the most exhausting 2 hours I've ever had. Not only was he face up when he was born but his head was tilted sideways and his cord was wrapped around both his neck and his torso. I was only able to see him for a split second from across the room right after he was born. While the nurses and Brett took care of him the doctors and anaesthesiologist were busy trying to take care of me. I lost a great amount of blood and things were getting bad quickly. The doctor decided to rush me into surgery where she did a D&C to try to stop the hemorrhaging. While I was in surgery, Caleb got his first bath and got to know his Daddy, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles. Five hours later I was out of recovery and got to meet Caleb for the first time. What an amazing little creature he is! By the time we met, the 2 days prior to that seemed like a dream. I uncovered him as fast as I could to count all of his fingers and toes and make sure that everything was where and how it should be. He was the most perfect thing I'd ever seen and I couldn't believe that he was finally here and he was all mine! It was the most precious moment of my life and one that I will never forget.

We've been home now for a little over 2 weeks and it's been wonderful! My Mom and Grandma were here the entire time we were in the hospital and then the first 2 days we were home and they were an invaluable help. We came home to a clean house and a refrigerator full of meals for the weeks to come. They taught us how to give Caleb a bath, feed him and sneak some sleep in ourselves. Brett's family and our friends have continued to help us, teach us and bring dinner. It's been so wonderful and helpful to have all of this support while we recover and get into a routine. Brett was home with us for the first week and it just flew by. We were sad to see him go back to work on Monday morning and he was sad to leave us. That was a hard day for all 3 of us. We could really get used to having Daddy home with us everyday! Our first week was spent sleeping when we could, learning how to take care of Caleb and getting to know each other. Daddy and baby are smitten with each other and practically inseparable. Caleb picks, depending on his mood or what he needs, who his favorite is throughout the day. He's a mama baby most days but has his days where he wants nothing to do with me and only wants his Daddy. Brett has fallen into this role as though he's been doing it his entire life and I couldn't ask for a better partner or Daddy for Caleb!

Since we've been home Caleb has learned to:

- Hold his head up and look side to side

- Roll over

-Put in, take out, and hold his pacifier

- Help hold his bottle

- Smile when Mama or Daddy smiles at him

- Eat and go through diapers at record pace

- Gain more weight than most children do in the first 3 months of life

- Wrap everyone he's met around his sweet monkey fingers :)

We saw the pediatrician this morning and Caleb now weighs 9 pounds 8 1/2 ounces and is almost 22 inches long. He's got a pretty nasty cold but is otherwise healthy and smart as can be! Not to mention that most handsome baby ever born:)

We are so very, very blessed as parents and as a family to have this sweet angel, to have a family that takes such good care of us and friends that are more like family than just simply friends. We look forward to watching him play, learn and grow every day. We hope that you all will enjoy hearing about him and seeing him grow as much as we do!

All Our Love,

Brett, Sam and Caleb