Becoming a mother has certainly been an adventure. Its everything I thought it would be and more. When you're pregnant everyone tells you how wonderfull motherhood will be and tries to give you tips on how to prepare yourself for it. There is no preparing for motherhood! This is an open book test and you will be expected to seek out the answers anywhere you can find them. There's little room for error and the grading curve tends to be VERY steep! I have a few girlfriends that are expecting and a few more that are trying to get pregnant. Each of them has asked me over the last 3 months to tell them what to expect and give them tips on how to prepare themselves. I've composed the following list for them:
- It matters not who you were before you became a mother. You could've had nerves of steele and the energy of the Energizer Bunny. No matter who you were pre-motherhood you will now become an unshowered, indecisive, hormonal, sleep deprived, love stricken ball of nerves that spends all of her time worrying about things that would've never crossed your radar previously. You will range anywhere from self doubt to guilt to elation and everywhere in between all day long. Sure, this doesn't sound pleasant but its really quite exciting most of the time!
- You will repeatedly catch yourself wondering what you ever could've done right to deserve such an immense blessing. If you didn't have any sort of faith in a higher being, you will now!
- Your clothes won't fit, your hair will either be greasy or the texture of dry grass (either way its still falling out in clumps and you're afraid you'll be bald by morning). Speaking of hair, you now have it EVERYWHERE and are starting to resemble an ape. You may need a tampon at any given moment throughout the day as that part of your body now has a mind of its own and won't be back on any sort of a schedule until God only knows when. Your teeth haven't been brushed since... well, since you're not sure when because you keep forgetting! You'll need some very expensive and very heavy makeup to cover up the circles under your eyes, the acne scars and that lovely pigmentation issue that cropped up sometime in the last trimester of pregnancy. The funny part is that you couldn't care less! I'm typically fastidious about grooming and my apperance but, as my mother pointed out, the baby doesn't care if you're hairy or have on any makeup!
- Its just poop! Of course the first few days you're a little squeamish because you've not ever had to tend to anyone elses behind but your own but after that it gets better. Honestly, after the first time you've had a constipated and screaming baby, you're more than happy to see a little poop! In addition, poop will become a hot topic of conversation around your house. What color, what consitency, what time, how many times etc. Although this is a topic of interest for you, the cashier at the grocery store, your mechanic and all of your Facebook friends won't be interested. I know, what's their problem?!
- Your schedule is no longer your own, day or night. This especially holds true if you're nursing. All of those daydreams you had while pregnant of putting the baby down for a nap in his crib at exactly 11:00, getting your housework done, returning phone calls and taking a shower will be shattered once you realize that babys sleep when they want to sleep, not when you want them to. Although you get up at 5am these days, you're lucky if by 5pm when your husband walks through the door you've gotten the dishes in the dishwasher and gotten yourself and the baby out of your PJ's. You get extra points if you manage to have remembered to take something out for dinner and brush your teeth! Your husband will appreciate your not having dragon breath while briefing him on the state of the poop that day!
- You will start to truely envy the octopus. What wouldn't you give to have just 2 more arms? You will learn to multi task like a champ. You learn quickly that when you're holding a sleeping baby, and you'd like him to stay asleep, you use any means necessary to get what you need without the assistance of your hands. Toes work just as well as fingers with a little practice!
- That gym memebership that you used to pay a million dollars a month for? You won't be needing that anymore. Carrying around a 15 pound baby who's a light sleeper while trying to fold laundry, make dinner and go potty is more cardio than you ever got in your past life. You'll have the upper body of a tennis pro in 6 weeks! That stretched out spare tire around your midsection is a little trickier. I've not figured that one out yet..
And finally,
- You will wake up every morning with an unwavering commitment to do whatever it takes, no matter the toll on your body, checkbook or social life, to make this precious baby happy because you love him with every fiber of your very being and existence. Its all very simple really, he is your life now. Everytime he smiles at you it solidifies that commitment just a little more. Until you become a mother you will never know how much you can really love someone nor will you truely know the meaning of sacrifice.
Its just a big crazy mess most days but you won't mind. You'll learn that having a spotless house isn't as important or nearly as much fun as watching your smiling baby and listening to him coo. Eventually you'll start caring about your hair and your clothes again but by that time you'll be too busy chasing around a toddler who's into everything to really fuss about it!
These last 3 months have been the happiest of my life. I'm not sure anymore what I did without Caleb but I'm sure it had to have been pretty boring! I couldn't ask for a cuter, sweeter and smarter baby than Caleb, a better husband than Brett, better friends or a better family. Brett and I are truely blessed.
Once I figure out how to post pictures ( they changed the process) I've got about a million for you to see! Stay tuned, I've got a feeling that this is going to be a very exciting month!
Xoxo,
Brett, Sam and Caleb
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.
