Today is the day, Caleb has found his sweet toes! He's been working hard to get ahold of them and he finally has! He scared himself when he finally did it but now he's even more interested in doing it again! Its pretty funny to watch him concentrating on them in the morning.
I feel like notifying the media! I'm glad that he thinks his toes are as great as we do:)
I'm sorry I've not posted more recently, we've had a very busy few weeks! There's so much to catch you up on! Where to start...?
When he's feeling well and has taken some amount of a nap, Caleb is about the happiest baby I've ever known! He smiles almost constantly and has started to "talk" to mommy and daddy in his sweet coo's. His coo's are the most beautiful sound in the world and we can't hardly get enough of them! This works out pretty well because he's become a real talker lately! In fact, he held a conversation with his grandma this morning on speaker phone! He's his mama's boy! He's begun to think he's pretty funny too. I will frequently catch him looking at something and suddenly he'll break out in a big smile and start laughing. He's also found his toes. He loves to sit in his bed in the morning or in his bouncy chair while mama does her chores and talk to his toes. He's been practicing trying to grab them and he's almost there! He's also been really trying to reach for my hair, fingers, daddys lip and the kitty. The cat is delighted as you can imagine! He has really started to take an intere
st in
putting things into his mouth. And so it begins! He's started to try to sit up too and he's got such a strong little upper body that I'm not sure its going to be much longer until he just decides to do it!
We went for our 2 month check-up on the 8th and everything is perfect. He now weighs 13.8 pounds and is 23 3/4 inches long. He's in the 94th percentile for weight, 86th percentile for length and 72nd percentile for his head diameter. Lots and lots of room for his huge genius brain:) The doctor also told me that he's about a month ahead of his peers developmentally. Such a big and smart boy! He's already giving mommy and daddy a run for our money and we imagine it will only get better once he's mobile! We couldn't ask for a sweeter, happier or smarter baby and we just can't wait to see what he does next!
As many of you know, Caleb has reflux. And I'm not talking just a little colic here and there, I'm talking 24 hour a day 7 day a week discomfort. To give you an idea of what he's going through, the experts describe it as being about 10 times worse than colic and about 50 times worse than what we as adults know as heartburn. Not fun! We've had him on 2 different medications in the last month or so and still haven't found anything that really helps all of the time. When he was initially diagnosed, we were warned that acute reflux is very resistant to treatment and we shouldn't expect any sort of quick fix. That couldn't have been more accurate! She also said that infants almost always grow out of reflux by the time they're 6-8 months old so that's encouraging. I've suspected for about 3 weeks now that he's lactose intollerant as well. We were back to see the doctor this last Friday and she confirmed that he is in fact lactose intollerant and instructed me to change him to soy f
ormula
right away. Just what he needs right, something else irritating his little tummy! So far the soy formula seems to be agreeing with him though and helping a bit with the reflux. We also switched his medication again so hopefully this will be the winning combination. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for us!
This brings me to my next point. I'm not aware of anything in this world that is as painful as watching your tiny baby suffer and not being able to do anything besides try your very hardest to comfort him and get the both of you through a day. One day at a time, it won't be this way forever. I have to repeat those words to myself every hour of every day. We have days that he just screams and wiggles around in pain for pretty much the entire day and night and nothing I can do helps. We have days when he is a little better but still bordering on inconsolable for the better part of the day and night. Then we have days, usually after a particularly bad day, that he's just so exhausted that he doesn't even have the energy to put up a fuss so he sleeps intermitently all day. Like I said, its excruciating and positivly heartbreaking to watch and try to deal with. I've been told that motherhood is going to bed every night and promising yourself that you'll do better tomorrow. That's
about
all I know to do at the end of each day. Its begun to take a real toll on me and I hate that.
As all of you mothers know, I am instinctually compelled to do anything and everything I can to help him. When I can't make it better it's devistating. It's a feeling that I can't explain and I don't think you could fully grasp the magnitude of this feeling unless you've ever had it. We've struggled to try to explain just how terrible this really is for Caleb to our family and friends and not a lot of people so far have really understood. The hardest part of these last 2 1/2 months hasn't been the lack of sleep or lack of social life, its been the demands and expectations of those around us. Trying to get everyone to understand that Caleb isn't your normal 2 month old and that he can't handle a lot of the things that most babies his age can has been a challenge at the very least. Of course everyone has nothing but the best of intentions and would never intentionally do anything to harm Caleb in any way. Prioritizing our outtings and visits has become a challenge as well and a
lot of
people have become angry with us. It's important that we get over to vist with Brett's Grandparents and Grandma Wright, my Grandma, my Mom and Brett's parents but these have to be well planned trips. We try to stagger any other visits throughout the week and all of the day to day errands usually wait until Brett is home. When you have a baby with reflux you don't just load them in the car and go do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. When we're to be somewhere I have to start first thing in the morning with trying to get him down for naps and trying to keep him well rested and with doing my level best to keep him as un-stimulated as possible. Any sort of new stimuli sends reflux babies over the edge and brings on new attacks. They do their very best when at home with familiar faces and little to no new stimuli. We have to be so careful at home about the volume of the TV and the lights and any new smells otherwise he's miserable. So you see, a seemingly harmless trip
to the
grocery store, dinner out or a visit isn't something that we can do frequently or on a whim.
Its been suggested more than once by more than a few people that Brett and I need to get out, without Caleb, for dinner and a movie. That won't be happening anytime in the near future. He's only 2 months old and I'm not at all comfortable leaving him with anyone right now. He's just too little and doesn't need to be seperated from me right now if its not imperative that we do so. Furthermore, how am I ever to explain to anyone how to take care of him? As I said, this isn't your standard 2 month old. It would take me a month to make a list of what he needs and explain to someone how to keep him comfortable and honestly I have to be looking at him to know what he needs. I've been called a lot of things and accused of spoiling him because I won't allow anyone to tend him. I'm fine with this. Maybe once he's a little older and we've got a better handle on his medication and on how to keep him comfortable I'll feel differently. Maybe I'm wrong but I have to do what I think is best
for
Caleb and I just cannot see making Caleb suffer just so Brett and I can go eat some dinner. I've heard over and over that such-and-such left their baby with someone when they were just weeks old and that such-and-such goes here and there and just takes baby right along. That's wonderful, I wish that Caleb and I didn't have to spend most of our days in this house but if that's what it takes for him feel well then that's exactly what we'll do! I cannot wait until we can do all of the things that we want to do and to show Caleb the world! I cannot wait until everyone gets to see the sweet happy boy that Brett and I know. Until then, I hope that we can find a way to get and keep Caleb comfortable and that everyone will be patient with us.
I will post new picture soon and keep everyone updated on how we're doing and how Caleb is feeling!
P.S. we have a 2 month old today. How bizzare and awesome is that?!
I had an idea that my body would be a little out of whack for a little while but I never imagined that it would be like this. Don't get me wrong, he is entirely worth it and if we're completely honest here its not like the Sports Illustrated photographers were beating down the door prior to my becoming pregnant but geesh, will I ever have any semblance of my body back? Its not just the stretch marks or the bigger clothes that I didn't know about. I pretty much kissed my old jeans goodbye when I was about 8 weeks along. I knew that I would likely be in my maternity clothes for the duration of the summer and possibly part of fall. That's about as far as I had thought ahead. This is SO not like me!
For example, no one told me that I would open up my underpants drawer one morning and see all those tiny lacy numbers that used to fit and that I loved and start to laugh. There is no possible way that all of this is ever going to get back into all of that. Ditto on my bras. I never bothered to find out how long my body was going to have a mind of its own either. I will spare you the intimate details but will tell you that I certainly could've used some sort of information on periods and hemmeroids before leaving the hospital! I continually have to remind myself that getting Caleb here didn't exactly go ideally and that kind of trauma takes time to recover from. When I was told upon discharge from the hospital that I was looking at 8-10 weeks recovery I think I just chose to not believe it. I now know that was a pretty accurate estimate. Either way, when does this flappy mass of skin on my tummy go away? Will my shoes fit again or shall I toss those out with the underpants an
d bras?
What about the spots on my skin? Do those fade or will I forever look like a connect-the-dots game?
I read that there are women out there that are back into their pre-pregnancy clothes by 6 weeks and don't look like they've ever had a baby. Who are these women and how did they do that without a battery of surgeons, personal trainers and skilled photographers?! Where in the world am I to find the time and energy to work out and tend to my blotchy skin? I think, for now, I will just be happy in the clothes and skin that I have!
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.
Intense abdominal discomfort marked by periods of irritability and crying. No known causes or cures however it is thought to decrease in frequency within the first 3-6 months of life.
This is how Websters defines colic. I beg to differ. My definition would go something like this:
Colic: Verb
An affliction by which your otherwise sweet, happy, smiling angel baby turns into a screaming, purple- faced, inconsolable basketcase. Mommy's fairly confident that gas is causing this however she's trying to make sure you're taking a breath here and there between shrieks and trying not to become an inconsolable basketcase herself so there's really no time for reflection on what the cause(s) may be. Both Grandma and Daddy can expect to get a frantic call at work as can the peditrician.
So there we were having a nice morning of playing and singing and cuddling when out of no where my precious angel is suddenly beside himself. I went down the typical list of feed, change pants, rock, too hot, too cold, uncomfortable, bored, overstimulated, and overtired. Nothing. It was almost as if the harder I tried the more he felt I was patronizing him. He would just get more and more angry with every attempt I made to help. I tried upstairs and downstairs, the floor, his crib, my chest, my bed, dark room and soft music all to no avail. After 2 hours of this I was on the verge of tears and just sure that we needed to get to the emergency room. I've of course heard of colic however I didn't think that it would apply to us. Typically this child burps and passes gas like a truck driver with little or no help. You have to be gassy in order to colic right? Wrong. As the nice lady who fielded my frantic call at the peditricians office told me, colic is not always just gas,
particularily at this age. It can be caused a lot of times by overstimulation. Now they tell me... As I mentioned in a previous post, I believe, as much as I hate to admit it, that I tend to push Caleb to do what I think he should be doing. ie: playing with all of his colorfull toys and listening to me babble endlessly while making stupid faces. Of course this is, most of the time, the exent of the "playing" that we can do together right now. Apparently, just like anyone else, babies can just get plain old annoyed when someone won't shut up! Who knew?! Although I won't typically admit it willingly, I'm a talker. I'm known for this. I may need to work on that seeing as my 6 week old son is already trying to tell me that I talk too much! We've also been out of the house and had quite a few visitors recently so it may be time to scale that back a bit for now.
After I FINALLY was able to calm him down, we both lied down (read:collapsed) for a 4 hour nap. If there was ever a time that I needed a nap, that was the day! Unfortunatly this happened again the next day. Same thing, same time but for a little bit longer. By the time he finally passed out cold of exhaustion that day I was sure I was going to need to be medicated and possibly take drinking back up if this was the way our mornings were going to go from now on! The doctor and everything I read tells me that colic almost never lasts past 3 or so months of age. This is supposed to comfort and reassure me I guess. 3 months old is a LONG time away when you've got a screaming unhappy 6 week old for 3 hours everyday! I'm happy to report however that we haven't had anymore problems with this since (knock on some wood, fast)!. The trick seems to be not to let him get anywhere close to overtired. I've found that if we stick to an 11:00am morning nap then we do just fine. Wish us luck w
ith
staying on schedule! Keeping any kind of schedule right now is almost always easier said than done but we're trying anyway!
Its an interesting thing to suddenly and constantly be second guessing yourself and your every decision. Never, in either my personal or professional life, have I ever encountered anything that shakes my confidence or makes me second guess my every move like this little guy can. I'm typically a pretty confident, decisive and secure girl. Not anymore! I find myself trying to decide with everything I do, or don't do as the case may be, if I'm going to in some way irreversably damage his pshyche or person. I blame all of the reading I do. Everything out there right now will tell you that, no matter what you do, you will cause your child to be Autistic. They talk about Autisim like its the black plague, as in if your child should be autistic all will be lost and the earth will cease to rotate. The powers that be would have you believe that every single child in the nation has Autisim and its their mama's fault. There's a commercial on TV right now advertising the Whooping Cough
vaccination. They tell you that children get Whooping Cough from being held close to their parents (specifically their mother) and Grandparents. The first time I saw it I was ready to start calling our entire family to tell them that they wouldn't be allowed within 200 yards of Caleb until they'd had their vaccine until Brett pointed out that I was being absurd. Was I really going to demand that the entire family be vaccinated whether they wanted to or not? In short, yes I was! See what I mean? The world makes it pretty easy to become a indecisive nutcase! I know in my right mind that's the chances of Autisim or even Whooping Cough are pretty slim but still... what if...?
In closing I would like to thank all of you for your sweet comments. I've been told by quite a few of you that you think I'm a tallented writer and that, so far, you've been enjoying our stories. Writing is something that I've always enjoyed however I guess I never really realized that I had a knack for it. I have my Grandma to thank for fostering my love of reading at a very early age. A large vocabulary will never be something you'll regret having! I have to ask you to bear with me on my spelling. I don't have a spell checker available when posting by email from my phone as I most often do. I can spell, I swear:) I'm actually quite surprised that so many people have enjoyed reading about our day to day life. I figured that most people would find my blog to be smashing bore and only really look at it for the adorable (if I do say so myself) pictures of Caleb. I can't imagine that I will ever tire of sharing pictures of Caleb's sweet face and all of the darling and funny thi
ngs he
does.
I will continue trying to keep you all updated as I have the time. There's always a story to tell by the end of the day!
All of our love,
Brett, Sam and Caleb
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.
